Hot Tub Archive
2002
Spooge, on 22 Jan 2002, said
sssssss.... Boom..... Ahhh! A story!
My story is entitled "How Jimmie got his Pi card back".
After getting his Pi card taken away at Pi Guy Poker Night by Klaetsch, Jimenez had to go through some "physical challenges" to redeem himself which brings us to the fateful night of the 19th. Klaetsch told Jimmie that he had his card in his wallet, it would be put behind his drivers license and his credit card. If Jimmie would pass a physical challenge, a card would move to the back. When the Pi card was at the front, Klaetsch would call for a Pi card check, and the card would go back to the possession of the poor freshman dumbass.
Physical challenge 1: Obtain a receipt that had on it 1 Playgirl magazine, and 1 container of petroleum jelly.
I had the honor of driving the poor soul around every gas station we could find to procure the coveted magazine, but alas none could be found. Finally we decided to try the OP on Regent, in which Jimmie first went to the counter asking the clerk if there was a Playgirl, to which the clerk replied "Yes". Jimmie then told him to hold on because he needed something else. He then spent the next 5 minutes staring at the Health and Beauty care items to find the other object. When he found what he was looking for he went to the counter and made the purchase. We then were about to return when he said, "I hope I got the receipt". Being the freshman dumbass that he was, he forgot to get the whole point of his mission. We then turned around, went back to the OP where Jimmie went back in with goods in tow, and kindly asked for the receipt. We then returned to Stroker's where a Pi card check was called, then Klaetsch's license went to the back of the pile.
Physical Challenge 2: Go find the vehicles of Stroker, Kari, and Klaetsch's special lady friend Rachel, and tell Klaetsch their license plate numbers. This must be done wearing only Stroker's work boots, a pair of gloves and his boxer shorts. If he screwed up in any way, he was to complete this task again, wearing Klaetsch's special lady friend Rachel's underwear instead.
Being the good sport he is, Jimmie jumped on this task. He went to find all three vehicles in the bone-shrinking cold, waving at all passers by (6 in all). A neighbor even asked him if he needed any help, but Jimmie being the good Freshman dumbass that he is told him no thanks because he knew he needed to complete this task on his own. Somebody must not have enjoyed the sight of a scrawny pasty white boy, and a minute after Jimmie returned inside to tell Klaetsch the information, the local rent-a-cop arrived looking for our hero Jimenez, with his spotlight, and his little red light on. With the second physical challenge completed, a final Pi Card Check was called. Jimenez happily slammed his beer, and received his Pi Card.
The End...
Now I'm going to go Fuck myself
pichick#1, on 23 Jan 2002, said
Stroker and Klaetch are pathetic... still hangin out with the youngins?? Time to let go and get a life guys. :)
Jimenez, on 7 Feb 2002, said
Yo folks, this is Jimi, long time hot tub reader, but first time bath taker . . .
Just wanted to say thanks to Spooge for documenting the events from last month,
and to Stroker for all his moral support on that scarily glorious night.
In hindsight, it really was quite fun, and what a story.
I also enjoyed myself thoroughly at last night's Badger upset of the
first-place Buckeyes. A big thanks goes to Devon Harris for missing his
final garbage free throw with .6 seconds left on the clock, leaving the
final score at 94-92, and giving me victory in the Pi pool.
In case anyone's curious (probably not, but you'll read and you'll like it!)
I picked up a new calander today with part of the proceeds, and I intend to
buy a bit of dinner with the remaining cash.
(warning: the comments below contain extremely high levels of sarcasm
and irony that may cause serious damage to your perception of their meaning)
. . . . and by the way, to whoever goes by the pseudonym "pichick#1",
you can go fuck yourself, and while you're at it stop hiding behind an alias.
Stroker and Klaetch are some great guys, despite what Spooge says about them.
Eat my dick (no, seriously), and On Wisconsin!
jimi
Jimenez, on 11 Feb 2002, said
ssssssssss. . . . Boom! Aaaah! Whistle! A limerick . . .
The clarinerds, they disappoint us.
Everytime we call they avoid us.
They tell us tough,
cause they like to eat muff.
In turn we yell 1-2-3 COITUS!!
ssssssssss. . . . Boom! Aaaah! Whistle! Another limerick . . .
Oh, to be the girlfriend of a bone.
She's really perfected the fake moan.
His mushroom grazes her clit,
thus he yells, "Oh shit!"
Another nut he has blown.
ssssssssss. . . . Boom! Aaaah! Whistle! Another limerick . . .
You'll never guess what Juanita just said.
Apparently, last night she gave me head.
Now she thinks she's my wife
and I hate my life.
Right now, I wish I was dead.
These clever words are courtesy of Jimi, Pudge, and Spooge. They were finely crafted over the course of last night's journey back from Titletown--a trip which many of you Pi-folk were on, but may not remember for various reasons. So, we have posted them here for all of you so that you will never forget them, and also for your shits-and-giggles. And be sure to visit the Hot Tub again soon, because Pudge will be posting our final limerick from the evening. Shine Andy's knob and On Wisconsin!
pichick#1, on 19 Feb 2002, said
To smart-assed, stupid-little-fuck Jimenez:
Get a clue and have some respect for your alumni.
The saxes are nothing compared to what they used to be.
You're nothing but a bunch of pussy-ass losers.
GUESS WHO!!, on 26 Feb 2002, said
Jimi et al, good limericks from Green Bay. I enjoyed reading them,
as well as the written-down limericks from Brian Lee.
(He's such a nice boy.)
I hope to see as many of you folks as possible at Cedarburg,
where we will be eating, playing the third annual Cedarburg (Mequon)
basketball bonanza, and generally regaling in the camaraderie of our fellows.
Oh, and on a lighter note, while perusing this fine HOTTUB,
I find myself comforted, if not downright aroused, by thoughts of our
venomous friend pichick#1 being fucked in a very uncomfortable place.
Like the back of a Volkswagen.
That is all.
pichick#1, on 27 Feb 2002, said
I am not venomous, my dear friends.
Just like to give all of you saxes a hard time.
Being bitchy is a big requirement for being a pi chick... any sax knows that.
Actually, any band member or alumni should know that.
You know you still love me. :)
Anyway, today I come to post congratulations to a fellow pi...
Way to go Andy!!!
Spooge, on 3 Mar 2002, said
Who the hell is Andy, and what the hell did he do?
Way to go the Subs for the excellent job at the Blatz Party Haus,
putting the numbers up, just don't eat any snow of the porch,
well at least the yellow stuff anyway,
and remember that the restroom is through the porch.
A big way to go, goes to Pudge for losing his Pi Card.
You Freshman Dumbass...
Boy, I can't wait to tell the epic of "How Pudge got his Pi Card Back".
I wanted to tell the story about "How Dave got his Pi card back" but I
missed the exact process of how it happened.
Another way to go is earned by Willie for leaving the concert half way through...
These Subs are such light-weights...
Enough small talk. I hope to see you all at Pi Lunch.
Time to go play my favorite game...
Your mother is a whore and, On Wisconsin!
Spooge
Jimenez, on 6 Mar 2002, said
. . . Spooge, I'm glad you've finally learned your favorite game. . . But what I really dropped in for was to see if anyone posted the Mike quote of the week from our trip at Cedarburg, and seeing how no one did, I'll have to do it myself:
"Saxes, don't be afraid to pull out."That is all.
Eat my cock, and On Wisconsin.
jimi
Spooge, on 7 Mar 2002, said
Lucky for you Jimi, you don't have to worry about pulling out,
and I don't mean when you are sharp.
Dude, where's my fucking Schnitzel?
Going to the closet to play my favorite game...
Spooge
1/2-pint, on 17 Mar 2002, said
Hey weeds. Stopping for a quickie (sometimes all it takes is a few minutes) to say hi to all. In just a few short days Dave, Ron-Dayne, Pudge, Su-Ann and I will be leaving for CO for spring break. I'm deeply sorry for all those who haven't decided to join us, as we will be having a ball during our naked road trip to the slopes. There will be skiing (duh), outdoor hot-tubbing (without suits, of course), singing songs, drinking. Don't they say something about being able to get drunk on less beers because of the altitude? Now it'll only take half a beer for me to get wasted! Sweet. Peace out. *1/2-pint
Fritz, on 1 Apr 2002, said
Stroker,
Concerning your message of Dec 9, 1999, I am not crazy.
The one and ONLY Brian, on 4 Apr 2002, said
Sorry I forgot to e-mail this song to you all during the marching band season.
In my honor, I hope all of you will sing (yell!) the chorus during the cadence.
(The tune/rhythm is similar to an army song/cadence.)
The Eat-Bite Song by "Dr Dirty" John Valby
Chorus:
EAT BITE FUCK SUCK GOBBLE NIBBLE CHEW,
NIPPLE BOSSOM HAIR PIE FINGER FUCK SCREW.
MOOSE PISS CAT PUD ORANGUTAN TIT
SHEEP PUSSY CAMEL CRACK PIG LION SHIT
FUCK!!!!
Well I went to a party and what did they do?
They took off their socks and they took off their shoes,
they took off their shirts and they took off their pants,
I had a hunch we weren't gonna dance.
CHORUS
Well she was workin' on my weiner with her two big toes,
she had one up her ass and another up her nose,
she grabbed two more and stuck em in her ear,
she said I'll make em all cum while I'm chuggin this beer
CHORUS
Everybody everybody's ass is bare,
no broads left just a queer over there -
but the whole damn thing didn't phase me a bit.
I just jumped on the pile and grabbed some tit.
CHORUS
My baby's not a sports fan,
but she plays with balls whenever she can.
Because her favorite sport you see is playing tonsil hockey
CHORUS (repeat chorus over and over increasing speed)
--Waterboy
Suan Valdez ( M I B ), on 5 Apr 2002, said
"I'm Offended!"
Jimenez, on 14 Apr 2002, said
Time Check: 6:10 am
Bocce Bowling. No "Songs to Thee". Catholic Priests. Latex Gloves.
Perkins. Mini Blinds. Make-out Bowling. Pi/Nerd Striptease. Pudge vs.
Jimi in the ultimate contest. Perkins II. Passed-out and Locked-out
Pudge.
The above contributed in making "The Greatest Weekend in Band" live
up to its reputation as "The Greatest Weekend in Band". If you're
lucky, I may someday tell you about the details. In the meantime . . .
Drink my orange juice (that's a small orange juice), and On Wisconsin!
jimi
Jimenez, on 14 Apr 2002, said
By the way ...
It's been a month and a half, and that slightly overweight kid still doesn't have his Pi card.
Trashley, on 17 Apr 2002, said
By the way...
It's been over a month and a half and that slightly vertically challanged girl
still doesn't have her Pi card. Hmmmmmm...a guy and girl...both missing Pi cards.
Interesting possibilities. Any ideas on how either one of these two could get
their cards back should be submitted to myself or that other fat kid.
Let the games begin. Round one...fight!
(Oh and another thing...jimi and pudge weren't the only contestents in the
ultimate contest...so was Trashley...and I'm pretty sure she won).
Anonymous (not Klitch), on 10 May 2002, said
Trashley and/or Chubby,
If you're still trying to think of creative ways to return lost Pi cards,
you should probably just give back half a card for the time being.
That would be nice.
Get your flutes nice and shiney this summer, and On Wisconsin.
XOXO,
Anon
Stroker, on 13 May 2002, said
Fritz:
Regarding your message of April Fools Day 2002,
Hoping all is well with you and yours, you crazy bastard,
Stroker
Spooge, on 29 May 2002, said
Hey! That guy is pooping!
Oh well, I just thought I would jump in the Hot Tub this
fine day and wish Jimi a happy 21st birthday.
I would also like to invite everybody to reconnoiter at
the summer session of Pi Lunch which occurs from the hours
of 12 to 1 at the Big Ten. You could join Stroker and I on
our EPIC exploits... We are so CLASSIC! Rack us!
Eat a Rock, and on
your sister!
Spooge
Stroker, on 19 Jun 2002, said
Apparently, the Aggie band didn't hear about Leckrone's
rule that says the director is the only person allowed
to haze freshmen. Either that, or Leckrone's a big pussy,
and the Aggie director is hardcore in a way that is normally
only seen on videos that come in plain brown paper wrapping.
From the Houston Chronicle
(http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/story.hts/metropolitan/1460482):
June 18, 2002, 8:13PM
Photos Of Students Bound, Gagged Spur A&M Inquiry
Associated Press
COLLEGE STATION -- Texas A&M University police are investigating
about a dozen photos found at the yearbook office that show students,
believed to be members of the Aggie Band, naked, gagged and bound with duct tape.
Bob Wiatt, director of the University Police Department, said his office
opened an investigation Monday after the pictures were found on a computer at
the yearbook's campus office last week.
"There are about a dozen pictures, and it would certainly appear to
be hazing," Wiatt said Tuesday.
Wiatt said it is believed the pictures were taken in April, but the
police department hasn't received any complaints from students believed to be
involved. He said the pictures are of a number of individuals the department
is trying to identify and contact.
The police department will turn its findings over to the Brazos County
attorney's office, which will decide if charges should be filed.
The Bryan-College Station Eagle reported Tuesday that Tamara Adams,
the yearbook's editor, found the photos, which had been scanned electronically
and saved onto a computer in the office.
bri, on 5 Jul 2002, said
Hey mmp alums,
its been a long time...
where ru and what ru guys up 2???
pi chix, whats goin on?
so happy i found this site!
bri.
chuckles, on 11 Jul 2002, said
Bri... is that you??? we have tried sending you emails and have gotten no response. I have so much news for you!! email me at amanda.faessler@dot.state.wi.us. :)
Tracy, on 12 Jul 2002, said
Ok, so I'm kind of slow to get on the "Hot Tub".
(Thanks for the link Chuckles!) At least I'm not slow to get IN the hot tub :-)
I hope everyone is having a great summer!
Bri - e-mail me your contact info...I've been trying to find
you for a LONG ass time!!!
tsagan@wi.rr.com
I have something for you!
BRI, on 12 Jul 2002, said
hey chicas,
hee! yeah definitely never the last 2 get IN2 a hot tub:)
tracy, whatcha got 4 me, baby???:)
sorry i havent been getting ur emails...
BUT
ill b in town 4 the n. illinois game:)--BAND DAY!!!
will u b there??
miss u tons!!
bri.
ps ill email u guys...hang on.
Spooge, on 17 Jul 2002, said
*tear*
I love it when the alumni reunite... It kinda gets me choked up...
*blows nose*
Only one month and one day until summer is over!
Eat a sock, and On Wisconsin!
Spooge
Stroker, on 9 Aug 2002, said
Stumbled across this, Retard, and I thought of you:
http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/
I highly recommend the Wino Wisdom...
"They won't let me in there. 'Cause I'm so nice to people. And I
tip and drink so good. That's why. And the time I hit that fucker with
a mug, 'cause he was eyeballing me. Don't eyeball me and I'm the
sweetest motherfucker around."
Sweet Jerry, languishing in permanent exile outside the Squire Lounge.
Thanks again for not abandoning me in the middle of that wretched
lake with nothing more than a life preserver and a cool can of Point
Special Beer to keep me warm, even after I insisted on the bare-assed
dismount from the pontoon boat.
We should have another one of those get-togethers at your cottage, just as soon as I get out of rehab.
Your mother might be a whore, but I'm putting my fist down the
throat of the first son of a bitch that says anything bad about your
grandma,
Stroker
Stroker, on 13 Aug 2002, said
Hey, all. If I was in a bad 80s movie right now, it'd be called "Desperately Seeking Silky".
Anyone have reasonably recent contact info for her?
In unrelated news, the countdown to Alumni Band is officially on.
I went for a jog a couple days ago to get a feel for just exactly how old and decrepit I've become.
The answer? Not quite Sir Alec Guiness old and decrepit, because he's actually dead.
More old and decrepit than Harrison Ford, definitely.
I'd say somewhere between Ian McDiarmid and Christopher Lee.
That's how old and decrepit I am.
chuckles, on 13 Aug 2002, said
silly stroker... You're not that old. Why are you looking for Silky?
Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how much you love alumni band) I don't get to march this year.
I get to watch all your sorry old butts from the stands.
My belly is growing bigger every day and I don't want to give my little baby brain damage
from sloshing it around on the marching field.
I also don't need to march to be reminded of seriously out of shape I really am. :)
Stroker, on 15 Aug 2002, said
I'm Desperately Seeking Silky, because I miss her sweet, sweet smile
and her hot, hot ass.
As far as your kid getting brain damage goes,
you'll be fine as long as you cut back on the Thalidomide and Sevens
("They're flipperific!") at the local tavern.
"Little Darwin's the best swimmer on the whole team",
Stroker
wheels, on 4 Sep 2002, said
Now chuckles, don't you think you should be a little more worried about
having a dent the shape of your husband's manhood in you little one's head?
Oh, so that's why you moved over to the...never mind...
No alumni band for wheels.
Bummer, I was looking forward to showing off my new bionic parts.
Oh yeah, and the stuff they put in my ankle too.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
We have the capability to make the world's first bionic man.
Wheels will be that man.
Better than he was before.
Better ... stronger ... faster?
enough about me, since when did this place turn into the mmpi retirement home?
Or are all you current sucks just a little too pink in the taco,
to come up with anything entertaining.
Oh, I know, you are probably sitting in the font of the bus doing your homework.
Shhh it's quiet time, I have to study.
THAT'S CRAP.
As one of the Waynes brothers so elequently said,
"Why don't you pull the titty outa yo mouth"
and show me that you all haven't turned into what I'm afraid you have.
Just a little fuel for the fire to start the season off right...
Strange how I seem to get a little surly around this time of year.
Wheels
Tracy, on 19 Sep 2002, said
Hey Stroker...
Silky was at Union South after Alumni band day.
She is going to school in Schaumburg (sp) IL.
Hey Wheels...we all missed you at Alumni band day.
No chicken dance for me :-(
Is anyone interested in a ski trip next March???
Trashley, on 20 Sep 2002, said
A message for Wheels...
Bionic man, huh?
Does that include a revamp of ALL of the old Wheels?
Nancy must be happy after surviving through all the years
of pre-bionic Wheels (or Stubby should I say?).
I'll have to look into making myself the second bionic man.
Oh, and by the way, us current sucks are currently having
too much sloppy drunk fun to come and entertain you and
the rest of the alumni old farts.
I prefer to keep the titty in my mouth because I'm pretty
sure it means I'm having more fun.
Oh and yes, I am a little too pink in the taco, because you see,
I am a girl; no bionic parts needed. :)
Having said that I depart with a good old,
eat a rock and on your mom!
Until we meet again...
Trashley and lots o' sausage, on 22 Sep 2002, said
hey to all mumupi out there not participating in the "ashley is hanging out with all sausage" event. i'm currently attending the tip of stroker's bachelor party. i must admit, i was expecting a little bit more from these men. so far, i've had a belt broken, i've been offended (as if i'm not good enough to play strip poker with), and wheels honestly thinks that i would fall for "houdini!!!" riiiiiight. stroker is currently on the floor, near puking or pass out. seriously lame and alumni like of him. let me state for the record that my bachelorette party better be about 5 times as naked and fun as this. freshmen suck, alumni suck... what's a girl to do???
Trashley and lot o' naked sausage, on 22 Sep 2002, said
success...
Anonymous, on 22 Sep 2002, said
so-a chuckles...how was the house warming party? friendly and warm like you expected?
chuckles, on 23 Sep 2002, said
why would any pi want to remain anonymous?
Anonymous, on 29 Sep 2002, said
...due to severe drunkeness maybe?
Dave, on 30 Sep 2002, said
Yeah, why would anyone want to remain Anonymous.
My problem is, for the life of me, I can't remember who was given the nickname "pichick#1."
I must be getting senile in my old age.
Anyways, the real reason I've sauntered this way is because I have a problem.
Well, I have lots of problems, but I have one I'd like to address here.
Freshmen, I watch you march through the tunnel after each fifth quarter.
There are candences being played, there are words, LEARN THEM!
OK, I feel better.
One more thing, while I'm here.
Living in the same building as two current Mu Mu Pi members,
I have been "lucky" enough to stop by some "section" get togethers.
Based on the attendance at these parties, I believe there are about 5 people in the section.
This just in... band used to be fun.
Dettman found the time to take not one, but two hands out of a cow's uterus,
and Wheels came all the way from Green Bay and we still outlasted most of you.
I thought the alumni were the ones who left early to get home for their bed times...
On a lighter note, assuming I'm available, count me in for a ski trip
-- as long as there's no longer a shortage on tequila and we can get the
one-gallon margaritas again.
chuckles, on 3 Oct 2002, said
Actually, I thought I was the only one who had to go home for an early bed time... :)
We need to have a pi get together... anyone on campus want to volunteer their place?
bri, on 5 Oct 2002, said
ill volunteer my place 4 the ski trip if y'all want 2 come out here 2 sunny Colorado:)
it's not 22-something-8 langdon, but it'll do...i guess.
its snowy in the mtns already!!
Shirley, on 10 Oct 2002, said
Has anyone noticed that most of our freshmen list all of
Beefstick's qualities as turn-ons?
Except for maybe Willie, but we all know who his turn-on
list is directed at.
Dave, on 10 Oct 2002, said
Screw the freshmen. Shirley, you know I only have eyes for you.
Those long walks on the beach, the candle light dinners,
the picnics in the park, and of course all the hot, amazing sex.
...your boyfriend never reads this does he?
Ron née, on 12 Oct 2002, said
Wazup current and past pi people.
I was about to go crazy cramming massive amounts of nursing knowledge
into my head so I decided to visit the site.
I see we've had a little alumni reunion, that's great.
Second observation: Ronée has posted an astounding (sp) 2 messages in four years.
(credited to Dave) THIS JUST IN: I am pathetic.
By the way, I just want to say to Suan, nice job on the web site.
Very impressive, especially the photo gallery.
But what happened to the rest of my face in the picture where Fatty and I are jammin'
out to Spooge and Jimmy playing sax guitar?? :(
One piece of advice, all ya'll should buy Jack Johnson's album,
Brushfire Fairytales if you haven't already.
That is all.
I'm going to continue sulking over the Badgers' second pathetic loss of the season.
Columbus City bowl, here I come!!
Willie, on 15 Oct 2002, said
I feel it has come time for the first current freshman to post a message
and get in the hot tub.
To address Shirley's comment about the freshman turn-ons,
let's just say I'm a vegetarian.
If you want a better indicator of what I'm thinking look at the reason I joined band.
Now for the other reason I'm posting this message and that is to give a shout out
and congrats to Stroker who is now tied down.
Have fun on the honeymoon and a hello goes out to the new Pi-wife.
Probably won't be long until there are little Strokes running around.
Kudos to him.
Maybe me taking this first step at posting, and opening myself up to endless ridicule,
for what some will claim is a stupid message will inspire other freshman to jump in.
Looking forward to being made fun of as usual.
Peace out!
Shirley, on 20 Oct 2002, said
Where the Hell is my spat?
Spooge, on 20 Oct 2002, said
Where the hell is my virginity?
Jimi, Dave, et al, on 21 Oct 2002, said
Rules for the night:
1)Pudge will go home with a hot lady from #9.
2)We will make fun of Pudge.
3)Ashley will be wasted (it is her birthday after all).
4)Ice will be our proofreader.
5)Jimi's last name from this day forward is . . .
O'Schmitty McGavinn (Suan, change profile accordingly).
6)Operation "Steal Bob Lisi's Beer" was a success.
7)Spooge is lame and is the biggest old man balls that ever existed.
8)Josh Vanderloo will from now on be known as J.P. Van Der Smythe.
You don't know Josh. Get over it.
9)Freshmen, what's your favorite game?
Oh yeah, that's right, Hide and Go Fuck Yourselves.
11)There is no rule #10.
12)It's only 3:19, where the fuck is everyone?
13)Oops, I forgot, Pudge is in Laura's room doing the Hibbidy Dibbity.
14)See rule #7.
15)Ashley says rule #15 is,
"My phone is ringing, am I allowed to answer it?"
16)Everyone have a beer.
17)Take 'er easy, and if she's easy, take 'er twice.
18)Jimi hates his life, and wishes he was dead.
19)Jimi can't read.
20)Ashley will consume 20 shots.
21)Jimi and Pudge and Dave need to go out together more often
(in a heterosexual kind of way).
22)See rule #14.
23)Whatever, you all suck, I'm tired.
24)Eat a Dick, and On Wisconsin!
Editor's Note: These rules were written and an attempt was made to
post at approx 3:30am on Oct 20.
For unknown reasons, we were unable to do so.
Therefore, this posting should really be timestamped 20 Oct 2002.
Jimi, on 21 Oct 2002, said
Actually, as I recall, the composition of the previous posting was concluded
about 3:30 am (see rule #12 for evidence), hence, the "21 Oct 2002" timestamp is correct.
Afterall it is important than we accurately document such festivities for those
who have no access to identification that would have allowed them to join us.
As for those people who could have joined but choose not to, or left early because
they have tiny old man balls, you can go fuck yourselves.
Jimi
PS See rule #22
Jimi, on 21 Oct 2002, said
Or maybe sometimes, some people get confused and realize 30 seconds after they post
a message that they have no sense of time, date, who they are, etc.
But the points made by myself are still valid, most notably that last one,
and that was really all I intended to do.
I may never be showing my face around these parts again.
I hate my life.
I wish I was dead.
That is all.
jimi & dave et al., on 21 Oct 2002, said
Rules for the night (as attempted to be submittied 10/19):
1)Pudge will go home with a hot lady from #9.
2)We will make fun of Pudge.
3)Ashley will be wasted (it is her birthday after all).
4)Ice will be our proofreader.
5)Jimi's last name from this day forward is . . . O'Schmitty McGavinn (Suan, change profile accordingly).
6)Operation "Steal Bob Lisi's Beer" was a success.
7)Spooge is lame and is the biggest old man balls that ever existed.
8)Josh Vanderloo will from now on be known as J.P. Van Der Smythe. You don't know Josh. Get over it.
9)Freshmen, what's your favorite game? Oh yeah, that's right, Hide and Go Fuck Yourselves.
11)There is no rule #10.
12)It's only 3:19, where the fuck is everyone?
13)Oops, I forgot, Pudge is in Laura's room doing the Hibbidy Dibbity.
14)See rule #7.
15)Ashley says rule #15 is, "My phone is ringing, am I allowed to answer it?"
16)Everyone have a beer.
17)Take 'er easy, and if she's easy, take 'er twice.
18)Jimi hates his life, and wishes he was dead.
19)Jimi can't read.
20)Ashley will consume 20 shots.
21)Jimi and Pudge and Dave need to go out together more often (in a heterosexual kind of way).
22)See rule #14.
23)Whatever, you all suck, I'm tired.
24)Eat a Dick, and On Wisconsin!
trashley, on 21 Oct 2002, said
so apparently O'Schmitty McGavinn (see rule #5) got the rule list to post after i oh so tactfully passed out on saturday night. i apologize for any inconvenience this has caused... but then again i guess it's a good thing to read the rules twice, they're important to some of us (see rule #19 and rule #2). oh yeah, an update: pudge woke up at my house for the second time ever, only this time (unlike the last) he wasn't coming out of my room after spending the night spooning with jimi. here's a clue: it wasn't janice and it wasn't tricia... shit giving will begin on tuesday.
janICE, on 25 Oct 2002, said
Just in case the last message has caused any confusion or the urge to tattle to Carlos, Allison does not live with us any more. So rather than blowing on a clarinet he was learning how to roll the Spanish "r". That is all.
***, on 25 Oct 2002, said
does it hard to be so incredibly lame?
Jimenez Vladimir-Abdullah O'Schmitty McGavinn , on 26 Oct 2002, said
I propose adding another rule, only this one is for the Hot Tub: No anonymous messages.
If you don't have the balls to put your name on it, then you don't have the balls to post it.
I, on the other hand do not hesitate to own up to my ramblings.
As you can see, I made sure to include my full name so that there wouldn't be any confusion.
What the fuck does that mean anyway? . . ."does it hard to be so incredibly lame?"
Am I missing something? Has my short-lived retirement from the Hot Tub caused me to lose
the ability to comprehend words and letters? It appears rule #19 is correct after all.
What are you trying to say?
Perhaps this is what you meant . . .
"Is it hard to be so incredibly lame?"
. . . and to that I would say, "No. Being lame is quite easy.
To be lame is to have a body part so disabled as to impair freedom of movement.
That is not very hard to do at all . . . see, I'm doing it right now with my arm.
That really was not all that challenging.
"Lame" is also synonymous with the word "weak".
That being said, I think it would be better to ask this question of someone who is
too weak to sign their name to a Hot Tub posting."
Or, perhaps you meant this . . .
"Does it suck to be so incredibly lame?"
. . . and again, to this I would say, "If your face was lame, it would be hard to suck.
But, don't take my word for it, because it appears Mr./Miss. Anonymous knows more about
sucking than I do."
That is all.
Spooge, on 1 Nov 2002, said
*ahem*
Road Trip blows!
That is all
Spooge
Petunia, on 12 Nov 2002, said
for my first dip into the tub i would like to bring you all
a little piece of road trip.
ssssssss.....Boom! Aaaah! Whistle! a limerick!
fatty is a lester of a dad
he likes to fuck his lads
chubb in the rear
pudge in the ear
it's the best piece of ass he's ever had
janICE, on 13 Nov 2002, said
The best piece ever, huh?
sssboomahhwhistlelimerick!
Oh, Fatty's had much better I'm sure
See I'm not so innocent and pure
But let's talk Saturday night
When some caucasians put up a fight
All that "Bad Medicine" Fatty could not endure
Shirley, on 14 Nov 2002, said
Oh Janice, this is terrible.
I was hoping you would lose your virginity to ME!
Love, your favorite upper class man, Jímenez Vladimir-Abdullah O'Schmitty McGavinn., on 15 Nov 2002, said
. . . . and I wanted to be there!!
Shirley, on 25 Nov 2002, said
We should all take dancing lessons from Beefstick.
Brian, on 3 Dec 2002, said
Jeez, the Hot Tub is out of control! I thought I'd leave the
first non-drunk-induced message since Oct. 31, 2001.
Seniors, congrats on ending the season with a great win
(and a bowl), instead of the most devasting loss ever
(like we suffered last year).
I recall on that night I split an entire bottle of Gold Schlager,
leading to my drunken demise.
This year, on the contrary, I partied like it was 1999
(on second thought, that year we had to go to bed early, he he).
Good job, too, on the gayest show ever.
And thank-you very much for double preparing during On Wis finale
(as well as preparing for the knee bow--I'm sure Mike was pissed).
Lastly, I thought I'd just mention this:
I took a beverage mixology class at MATC this past semester,
and Mike's son, Chris, was in my class.
He was a tuba player, and now he is interested in running his own bar.
I'm old and decrepit, and I miss you all very much!
--Waterboy
Stroker, on 13 Dec 2002, said
If I hear the phrase "Remember the Alamo" one more time,
I'm going to puke.
Band Prohibition or not, your jobs are to NOT remember the Alamo.
Use whatever polite euphemisms you want--wrecked, annihilated,
shitfaced, ready for sex with Dettmann--the end result is the same.
For that matter, police reports, CNN, and "Mother",
your new friend from detox, should be more than enough to help you
fill the gaping holes in your memory.
Whatever. Road trip blows. They'll just be trying to make you feel
bad for vomiting down the front of some San Antonio sheriff's uniform.
Don't let them. Think of it this way: we're in Caddyshack,
you're the caddies, and Texas is your pool.
In other news, Kari most likely won't be able to make Alumni Band Day
next year, because, to continue the Caddyshack references, she's
"late for not bein' pregnant".
The docs say she's due in early August.
By Alumni Band, I'm sure I'll be more than ready to exchange the crying
of a two month old for the bitching and whining of Pi Chicks.
I can't wait.
Molest the tatanka,
Stroker
Donk, on 15 Dec 2002, said
Congratulations Stroker!
I go away for a little bit and when I come back half the Pi folks
are married, Stroker's turning into a dad, Waterboy's complaining
of being old, and I don't know any of the people posting here -
the Pi world is basically all screwed up.
Just wanted to say hi to everyone,
I'm back in Madison for at least a couple years.
Is there going to be skiing this year?
Laura
stroker, on 28 Dec 2002, said
Tatanka molested. Well done.
Best quote from ESPN's coverage, regarding Colorado's
choice of side to defend in overtime:
"Colorado picked that side to get away from the Wisconsin Band."
Stroker